Heiwajima Shizuo can sneeze?
by ToxicTopaz
Summary: For some reason, Izaya is shocked about this revelation. One shot. OOC. Established relationship so it is just OOC in general-but it doesn't count since it's in the future.


Heiwajima Shizuo was aggravated. He had had a long day and had spent the last twenty minutes on a bus-ride home that never seemed to end. Even though he had been granted with an early day since the Mr. Tom had to attend a funeral where he wasn't welcome, he was still seemingly exhausted. The entire ride home the lady behind him rudely yelled at her son about jobs the entire time, and when he had politely asked her to keep it down she had apologized and kept her voice down for all of thirty seconds before she was back to yelling into the phone. The one time he wished Izaya was there to smash someone's phone and he wasn't.

He shook his head tiredly and got off the bus. He shivered and put his cold hands in his pocket, wishing he had listened to Izaya's request that he get a coat earlier in the winter. When he reached the door to their apartment, the air seemed to get thicker. He sniffled a few times to clear his sinuses, but it was no use. He sighed and opened the door. He sat down on the couch and kicked his shoes off, which landed perfectly in the shoes basket. He closed his eyes and was just about to fall asleep when-

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya shouted cheerfully, skipping into the living room in a playful-teasing way. "I started the salmon for dinner, when do you want to eat?" he asked, sitting next to him on the edge of the couch.

"I'm not hungry yet," he said, closing his eyes. "Can't it wait a little?" Izaya pouted and nodded.

"Okay, an hour maybe?" Izaya asked, playing with Shizuo's hair boredly. He nodded and kept his eyes closed. Izaya wandered to the kitchen where he continued to cook. He wasn't the best cook, he'd actually learned most of his cooking skills from Shizuo, but he felt obliged to cook, being the more 'girly' one in the relationship. He was almost done with the samon when he heard something he'd never heard coming from the living room.

"_Utchoo!" _a loud sneeze boomed through the apartment. _Shizuo's_ sneeze. Izaya jumped, most uncomfortably landing with his hip hitting the dishwasher. Not that Izaya wasn't too cool to jump when someone sneezed, it's just that he never remembered hearing him sneeze before, and it was pretty loud. Since Shizuo rarely, if ever, sneezed before that, Izaya was worried. Was he sick? Maybe he should ask if that was normal…

Nah, Shizuo was already pretty exhausted, he didn't want to get him angry. It was just a sneeze, no big deal. He acted like he didn't hear and continued his cooking. He concentrated deeply on the process of the salmon. That is, until Shizuo sneezed again.

"_Ut'CHOO! Choo!...Uchoo! Ugh…" _The sneezes were more forceful that time. He heard some sniffling and a groan and decided it was time to check on him. He found him sitting up, a finger held to his nose, sniffling.

"Bless you, Shizu-chan. You okay? You've been sneezing a lot" he asked, sitting down and putting a hand on his forehead. No fever. Shizuo nodded and sniffled.

"I'm fine, it's probably just dust," he said, sniffling again. Izaya cocked his head to the side.

"Are you allergic to dust?" he asked, curiously. Shizuo nodded, sniffling again. He had just dusted the day before, and it had been a thorough cleaning.

"But Shizu-chan, I dusted yesterday," Izaya argued, raising his brow. Shizuo cocked his own head to the side and tried to think.

"Maybe it's just sobe polled that got od be," he suggested in a stuffy voice. "U_h…fff'CHOO!" _Izaya laughed at the funny-sounding sneeze and shut up when Shizuo glared at him.

"I take it you're allergic to pollen, too," he said, plucking a tissue and handing it to Shizuo, who took it and blew his nose, which sounding like a deep gurgling. "Well, it must have been a lot of it, cause I've never seen Shizu-chan sneeze before, has Shizu-chan ever even sneezed before?" he asked, confused. Shizuo quirked his brows.

"I'm a human being, of course I've sneezed before. What kind of question is that?" he asked, barely looking up from the blowing of his stuffed nose.

"Well I've never seen you sneeze before, so how would I know?" he asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"You haven't? I sneeze all the time, what are you talking about?" he asked.

"No you don't! You haven't sneezed once in the entire time I've known you! You have a super-nose," Izaya said, giggling. Shizuo laughed, which was ruined when he sneezed again. _Up'shoo! _

"I don't have a super-nose, I sneeze and cough just like everyone else," he argued.

"Cough, yes. Being such a heavy-smoker it's inevitable. Sometimes you have this really loud high-pitched coughing –which I think is the most adorable thing in the world, by the way-" Shizuo glared at him. "But never any sneezing," Izaya said, giggling.

"That's not 'cute, high-pitched coughing," that's what I sneeze like, and it is in no way adorable" he said.

"You mean all this time, those weird coughs I would hear every now and then were sneezes?" Shizuo nodded. "Why do they sound so different now? You're lying, Shizu-chan! LIAR!" he screamed, bouncing on the couch and pointing fingers.

"I'm not lying, I heard someone talking while on the job the other day about stifling coughs or sneezes not being healthy so I stopped," he said, sniffling. "Considering I used to be pretty shy as a child, I never wanted to be very loud so I just figured if I stifled than no one would bless me and make me feel uncomfortable. I guess I just picked up the habit of stifling after that," he said, finally getting a new tissue.

"Okay, well I'm glad you're finally caring about your health.," he said, smirking. Shizuo glared and sneezed again.

"_Ut'SCHOO!" _he literally doubled over for this one, moaning annoyedly afterwards. Izaya frowned at the sight before him. "I need to shower and get rid of this pollen," he said, standing up and going to the bathroom. Izaya was walking back to the kitchen when he heard a low-pitched shriek coming from the bathroom, followed by more sneezing and some coughing.

"UtCHOO! Hut'choo! UhSHUH! Izaya-kun!-cough cough- Get over here –cough," Shizuo continued to gasp and cough. Izaya entered to find Shizuo sitting in the corner of the bathroom. In front of him was a long-haired grey kitty, which mewed cutely when he entered.

"Shizu-chan! It's a kitty, how cute! Oh my God, how did it get in here? Look!" he cooed over the cat and shoved it in Shizuo's face. Shizuo stared face to face with the cat, which was already too much for his deeply sensitive nose.

"N-no…Izaya…can't…take…f-f-fur…_nngh. UT'SHHHOOOOO!" _he sneezed openly, the spray hitting the cat –and Izaya- in the face. The cat hissed and scratched visciously at Shizuo's innocent cheek. Shizuo appeared to be angry, and might have even strangled the poor cat if it wasn't A) Izaya's fault, B) the cat was already giving him an allergy attack, C) he loved animals, and D) he could barely breathe in the first place, so he was rather panicky over mad. Izaya took the cat and held it away from Shizuo.

"Bad cat! Bad cat! You scratched Shizu-chan when all he did was sneeze! How would you like it if I scratched your face every time you sneezed?" the cat stared blankly at him.

"_Uh'shooo!" _another sneeze erupted from Shizuo's chest, causing the cat to hiss. He sniffed and tried to talk. Izaya cocked his head to the side.

"What is it, Shizu-chan? What's wrong, does the scratch hurt?" Shizuo shook his head and continued.

"Izaya-kun…can't breathe," he wheezed out, grabbing Izaya's arm. He looked him in the eyes. It wasn't very often that Izaya saw Shizuo looking this vulnerable. "Allergic," was the last word he got out. Snot drizzled from his nose and he seemed to not be paling. Izaya gasped and took the cat and ran out the door with it. When he got back to the bathroom, Shizuo was blowing his nose to no avail. He hugged him from the side.

"I'm sorry, Shizu-chan. I didn't know you were allergic." All he got as a response was another sneeze.

"_Utchoo!"_

"But now that I do, I just wanted to say I am sorry. I want you to make a list of everything you've ever had an allergic reaction to and give it to me, so I know what to avoid." Shizuo nodded and blew his nose a final time.

"I should have told you by now, it's my fault," he said, taking the blame, yet again. Izaya sighed.

"No, it's my fault. I could have prevented it by paying attention. How could I have let a cat in without knowing? It must have gotten in when I was unloading the groceries. Damn cat," he droned on and on about all his faults until Shizuo placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"How about, it's nobody's fault. Let's leave it at that," he suggested. Izaya nodded and the two took off their clothes and took quick showers. Afterwards, Izaya vacuumed all the floors and re-heated the now cool salmon. Together they ate their dinner in peace. Afterwards, Shizuo handed Izaya the allergy-list. Izaya's mouth dropped open.

"You're seriously allergic to all this? I thought you were like a human superman, how could you be allergic to all of this?" he argued. Shizuo shrugged.

"I guess having such a keen sense of smell has its down sides," he said, wiping down the table.

"All ninety-six of them," he said, jokingly. Shizuo smacked him with a rolled-up dish towel. "Don't worry, I can do without the presence of heavy-perfume, dust, dust mites, Purex, ragweed, pollen, trees, leaves, grass, cats, horses, rabbits...every furry animal known to man, antibacterial soap, beestings…some of these aren't even all smell related," Izaya argued.

"Well beestings make me swell up, and antibacterial soap gives me a rash," he explained. A long list later, Izaya stopped at the last two.

"Citric acid and pecans. Food allergies too? You're killing me, Shizzy," he whined. At this point, the two were stripped down to their boxers, lying side-by-side in their bed.

"How would you like it if your tongue bled and your cheeks tingled and you got a four-hour long stomach ache every time you ate something? Hmm?" Izaya turned the other way and fake-snored loudly, which Shizuo rolled his eyes to and fell asleep. Izaya, who hadn't fallen asleep yet, though deeply.

_Hmmm Shizu-chan has a pretty cute sneeze._ Just then, he remembered he had forgotten to dust the table next to their bed. He reached down and swiped a few of his fingers across the table and sprinkled the dust particles onto Shizuo's sleeping form. He heard his breathing change suddenly.

"_Ut'schoo!"_

Heiwajima Shizuo _can _sneeze.


End file.
